Sunday, May 5, 2013

embracing "regret"

Regret is a funny thing. More often than not, when this subject comes up you hear people say "I have no regrets. My choices have made me who I am" blah blah. I personally, do not follow that school of thought. I get where they're coming from. Have I done dumb things, that have ended up leading me to this glorious life I live today? Absolutely. And I wouldn't change any of those things. But that doesn't mean I have no regrets at all. Not by any means.


I regret chopping off all my hair. As a child I had the longest, thickest hair, and sometime just before middle school I chopped it all off. It hasn't been the same since. Somewhat trivial, but a regret none the less.

I regret not spending more time with my Grandparents as a child. I have a whole post written about my Omi, my maternal Grandmother, that I've yet to publish. But one day I will. She passed away ten and a half years ago, and I will never forgive myself for not spending more time with her. My Papaw, my paternal Grandfather, is one of the bravest, strongest, intelligent, and just best people that has ever walked this planet. He's had Parkinson's for about 13 years. It's getting worse, not better. Due to this hellacious disease, he will not be able to attend our wedding. Luckily, through technology, he will be able to see it. But of course it's not the same. I regret it took me until my 20's to realize the value and worth of these people. I regret that our nation as a whole has turned into a big ball of superficiality and technology and the things about my Omi and PaPaw that are so great, will be mostly lost with their generation.

I regret not learning more recipes from my parents growing up.

I regret getting my tongue pierced in college (It was removed shortly after. Do NOT ask what I was thinking) and that I have one of the worst tattoo jobs ever on my right foot.

I regret not crate training Holly from the beginning months of her life, and that she's a year old and I haven't spent more time teaching her tricks.

I could go on. The point is, I believe regret is a very real thing that we all face every single day, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. The real question is, what are we going to do about it?

I know that I will respect my body a little more, and if I ever do get more tattoos (I also have one on my wrist) they will be done well and meaningful.

I will spend as much time with my PaPaw as I can, and even more with my Gammie (his wife, of 50+ years I might add) and thank God for having one wonderful grandparent that is still healthy and strong well into my 20's.

I will spend more time learning from my parents.

I will not let my future daughters cut their hair on a whim, unless they're prepared to never have it back. Just in case. I will also not let any of my children spend all day and night playing video games or taking Instagram pics. I swear, if I won the lottery, I'd open up a center for kids where the only activities allowed were kickball, riding bikes and playing in the creek.

Like I said, I could go on and on. The point is, even though I have regrets, I embrace them as lessons. In my short almost 25 years, I have lived a full life. Filled with good and bad. And I think the bad is crucial to truly appreciating the good. Except with the hair. That was just stupid.

Happy Sunday people :)

jamiedawn said...

i just wrote a post 20 minutes ago about how i regret not learning how to play an instrument when i was little! better late than later i say! so we found a free piano on craigslist and here we goooo

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