Tuesday, August 6, 2013

what i've learned three months in

As of today, Will and I have been married for 12 weeks. While this hardly makes me an expert, I got to thinking about what I've learned in this past few months. People always ask us "So is it different? What's changed now that you're married?"

I'll tell you what's changed- my name. Every time I go to sign my last name and start with the first letter it is nearly impossible to write my married name instead of my maiden name that is so engrained in my right hand once that first G is on paper.

But it all seriousness, I think the main thing that has changed for me is the way I look at things. The way I handle our conversations and *ahem* disagreements. We are both stubborn. We both think we know best. Obviously only I do, right? ;) Before, I would try to get the last word. Convince him to see it my way. But I have realized through trial and error, and making many big decisions over the last several weeks, that that's not really how it works. No matter who is right, or who makes more sense, sometimes people, including married people, will differ.

My husband will never share my opinions on the appropriate time to get up in the morning, and I will never share his views on how organized our home should be. And that has to be ok. Right now the things that I have to accept, the things I have to bite my tongue on, are trivial, but I know in time they will become more omnipotent. How to discipline our children. How we will manage our finances once we have those children. The big stuff. And when those big decisions actually come into effect, when we're living them instead of just discussing them, I want to be prepared. I want my patience to be a mile long. My understanding that we are in this together to be solid.

I haven't totally accomplished it yet, but I think my first big marriage lesson is this.

You don't have to agree on everything, you just have to agree on how that exact thing will work in your home and marriage.

What is the biggest lesson you've learned in your marriage or relationship? What is the best advice you were ever given as a newlywed? I'd love to hear!

Happy Tuesday!

Kristin said...

Good ol' compromising :))

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