Thursday, June 26, 2014

Moms. What kind do I want to be?

The kind of mom I want to be.

There are all kinds of Moms. Even though everyone is different, and parenting styles and decisions are unique, I think most parents fall into one camp or another. My Mom is definitely the nurturer, best friend, doting, leave notes in your lunch box and write special messages on crackers with cheese wiz kind of Mom. I could go on about this lady- she is truly great. There are organic/crunchy/whatever you call them Moms, and Moms who believe in kids choosing what they eat and when they go to bed.

I don’t know what the best kind of Mom is, but I know what kind of Mom I personally hope to be to my daughter.

I hope to be firm. While I want my daughter to know that she can come to me for comfort and love, I also don’t wait to do her a disservice. While I believe parents should be a “safe” place, I will not (hope to not) raise a child that thinks she is entitled to everything on this planet just for being her, regardless of her actions. I hope to be firm in my expectations of her grades, extracurricular activities, manners, behavior, and the way she treats others.

I hope to fill her heart with gratitude. My daughter already has more love and material goods as an unborn baby than many children will see their entire infancy. I hope to teach her that though we are very blessed, all of it could be taken away in a heart beat. And more important than that, though we want and value and love all of our “things”, there are much more important parts of life. Also that we should share our good fortune with others who are not as lucky. I want her to know how hard her parents work to give her the things she has, and that iPads don’t grow on trees. That you don’t get something just because you want it, or think you deserve it.

I want to be calm. This will probably be the hardest of the three. I want my daughter to know she can come to me with any question, problem, mistake, or issue- and it will be ok. I will not chastise or yell or lose my cool. We will figure out the best solution together. She might be grounded for 10 years after said solution is found, but I know I will never turn my back on my children- no mistake is that great.

Anyway. It is easy to say what kind of parent I will be while Norah is living inside my tummy, and has essentially no free will of her own. What kind of parent will I be when she is out here in the real world, making her own choices and developing her own personality?

We will see!
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