Monday, January 16, 2012


This morning I woke up around 6am. For absolutely no reason. Why I do this when I have a day off but battle with the snooze button multiple times when I actually have to work, I cannot explain. Anyhow, I decided to start my day.

As I tried (unsuccessfully) to get W up early, feed the dogs, let them out back, make sure the coffee timer was set, tidy up the house, make breakfast and plan all that I needed to get done that day I was a little overwhelmed and happy I had the day off to do it all.

As I sat down to eat my breakfast, with the dogs outside and Wills off to work I began to think to myself... I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS THIS MY LIFE.

Now this is something I say all the time that many people misunderstand. It doesn't mean my life is so wonderful (which it is) or horrible that I can't believe it's my reality... I mean it more in the sense of "How the heck did I get here when I was light years away just a short time ago?"

My life has changed many times in many ways. Some good some bad. Some I will share on this blog. Some I am not so sure. But stagnancy is not something I am very familiar with. In memory, if you count both of my parent's homes and my college housing, I have had 23 homes in 4 states in my 23 years of life. I attended 4 elementary schools, 2 middle schools, thankfully only one high school and 3 colleges (to get one BA degree). Job transfers, family tragedy and personal preference have all contributed to these moves.

Moving so much teaches you to adapt. To be outgoing, self sufficient. I have always done my own thing, been my own boss and answered to no one as much as I could help it.

This make it all the more strange that in the past, I also was very often "that girl". That girl who let guys walk all over her, tried to "fix" boyfriends, stayed too long, tried to hard. You know the one. I posted a Facebook status the other day that said

That status pretty much sums it up. I have made a lot of poor choices. While I love my life, would change nothing about it or the people in it and have had some priceless memories with amazing people- I have struggled and failed and some parts of this beautiful life have been straight UGLY. Most of that ugly has centered around men.

Anyway. That is why, as I sit in my beautiful home, in a wonderful neighborhood, watching my pups play out back, seeing the most amazing man in the world off to work, as he tells me not to clean the kitchen because HE wants to do it for me after a hard day at work, even though I have the day off, I cannot believe this is my life.

There are so many that have so little. We have enough food in the house to feed us for weeks, maybe more. I just sold my flat screen because we had an extra. I type this on my lap top, which is sitting next to my iPhone, which is next to the iPad... You get the point. SO much to be thankful for.

Not to mention Happy MLK Day. Thank you Martin Luther King Jr for helping make it OK for me to be who I am and date who I choose without any less oppression and push back.

Anyway, my point is this.

I want this blog to be a reference point. For me, for all of you and for my family. Something my sisters (now 11 and 13 years old) can read in a few years and get to know me better, learn from my mistakes.

Something my future children can read and see how much me and their Dad love each other. *SN* No I am not engaged, but as far as I'm concerned I know will happen, so yes I already think about these things from time to time.

I hope to share more in the future about my past, my current relationship, my friends and family and most importantly all I have learned and all I have to be thankful for.

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