the (blog) struggle

So I'm kind of struggling with the ole' blog.

I started this thing way back when because I obsessively followed other peoples blogs, and I wanted to have my own in order to interact, comment, etc. I love to write and am a pretty chronic over-sharer, so it made sense.

It started out with crappy pictures and me chatting about what I was up to. Which was usually nothing. It evolved into a documentation of my relationship + engagement with Will. Our wedding. Our house hunt. And now my pregnancy and the life of my daughter.

I think it's pretty irreplaceable to have all of these memories documented with so much detail, and I've had a blast meeting people along the way. While I only have a few people from the blog world that I consider good friends in "real life", I hope that now that I will have a bit more flexible time on my hands, I can have all those "blates" I've talked about with bloggers that never were able to happen before. I've found some wonderful recipes and perhaps my best parenting tips of all from blogs, so I don't regret this one bit.

That said. I'm struggling. For two reasons. I'm paranoid, and kind of over the "game".

The paranoia is really only centered around Norah. While we keep our home very safe, and I'd never post my address on the internet, try to censor our last name, etc.- people are crazy. I am not sure that I want everyone in the world looking at the inside of my house or my baby. But those are the things I like to post about. So it's a struggle.

And about the games. I just get annoyed when there are blogs I LOVE and have followed for YEARS and now all of the sudden it's like sponsor this, ad that. I get this is a job or side income for some people. And no one is making me read every post. It's just disheartening. I actually don't mind the over abundance of link ups, because I think it's fun to have a prompt and I like discovering new blogs, but those get annoying from time to time too.

The last thing I guess I should mention is that I am not really sure what direction I want this blog to take. It's really always just been about me and my random happenings. Which is cool. But I am truthfully starting to bore myself writing the same dumb crap. Maybe I just need a more exciting life? I don't know.

I often imagine writing really in depth, heartfelt, serious posts. Like about how insane so many things going on in the world are today. How stupid I think politics are most of the time. How ridiculous it is that it's still a bit of a "thing" that I'm in an interracial marriage, and the conversations I am preparing myself to have with my daughter about being "mixed".

But then I wonder if that's too heavy. If I want to put myself out there like that. If it's even worth writing because isn't there enough bitching going on on the internet?

Whatever. The point is, this blog may be seeing some changes soon. Maybe with content (but probably not that big of a change there). And hopefully with the name. I really don't like the name of this blog and it's no longer really applicable to where I'm at in life. Unfortunately I've always been HORRIBLE at titling things. In English class or any time I had to write a paper the title was ALWAYS the last thing I wrote. Maybe that's why I have a hard time titling this blog. Since it's never "done", my normal thought process for such things just doesn't work.

Anyway, that's where we're at this Monday morning. We had a pretty fab weekend that included a trip to the mall, a visit with friends, lots of lazy family time on the couch, a nap for me (praise The Lord!), desserts, grilling out, and all kinds of other fun stuff. We even got a picture of Norah that actually had me in it. Even though they're kinda crappy from the iPhone, I'll take it.

Am I the only person that can never remember what happened on Friday by the time Monday rolls around?

Today Norah and I are off to continue the hunt for a living room chair, and tonight Will and I plan to enjoy a nice tasting event at Mad Tree Brewery.

Happy Monday!