So. After putting up our tree last night, I was feeling a little bleh for a second. It just didn’t seem like enough. I of course have been imagining this moment for weeks. Our first Christmas in our new forever home, and I may have over glorified our little tree in my head. When I got it all decorated, it just didn’t meet my expectations. It was fine for last year. But it just looks inferior now in our new house. I immediately started pricing new trees, which are not cheap, and trying to figure out if it was worth splurging on. Of course it is, because I have to have a nice new tree, right? Still not sure of the answer to that questions.
What I do know is that after about 5 seconds of doing this. I felt like a huge jerk. I know so many people struggle every day, especially around the holidays, and here I am bitching up a storm because I don’t have an 8 or 9 foot tree. Not very Christmas spirit like of me, and I still feel pretty rotten about it. It’s always baffled me how easy it is to get caught up in the “I needs”. How intensely you can want something. How required it feels, when really, there are a bazillion people out there who survive with much less than I have ever had (and God willing will ever have) every single day. I definitely believe in working hard, making a nice life for yourself, and enjoying all of the nice things that are available to us middle class Americans. But it is easy to cross the line into enjoying what is available to you, and just being a spoiled brat.
I would like to type here that I decided to spend all the money I budgeted for Christmas on gifts for the poor, but I know I won’t do that. What I will do though is think long and hard about if I want certain things because I want them, or because the outside world makes me feel like I need them. One of my biggest goals for 2014 is to be less selfish. Spend money more wisely. And devote my time and resources to something besides myself. It probably wouldn’t hurt to start on that a little early.
Happy Wednesday pals.