Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Before I Met Will

This is long, but it felt so good to write.

To say my life has changed drastically in the past 18 months is an understatement.

I've hit some pretty big milestones in those months. Graduating from college. Getting my first dog. Getting my first big girl job. Of course, meeting my fiance. I could go on.

Yes, I still manage to spend time with my girlfriends, but my life looks pretty different now than it did this time in 2011.

A little back story.

My parents divorced when I was 7 years old. I spent ages 7-13 living with my Mom, Step Dad and sisters. At 14 I decided to move in with my Dad in Ohio, and lived with him and my Step Mom until I graduated. My Mom lived in Chicago, and had two small children. I was also always active in sports, so I had a very busy schedule.

There was a point in my life that I had very little time to spend with her. My Dad always provided me with everything I needed and more, but I'm convinced making it through my teens without my Mom made me even more independent than I would have become otherwise.

When I sit and think about how much my life has changed, I sometimes can't believe it. See, before I met Will, I was not that girl. That girl who was groomed from an early age to be a wife. I never pictured myself engaged at 24, and honestly wasn't sure if I'd ever want to get married.

My parents raised me to be totally self sufficient, and never depend on or "need a man".

I have always loved the idea of love, and definitely wanted kids, but I just could not fathom that I would meet someone to share in that dream with. I never pictured my wedding or anything of the like.

Honestly, I'm not the easiest person to deal with. Overall I just have a strong personality. It's not for everyone. Most people either really love me, or really do not like me.

Not to mention, every guy I'd ever dated was insane, and I was basically damaged goods. Now I still keep in touch with some of my exes, and some I hope I never see again. But each one of them put me through their own personal version of hell at one point or another.

I always tried to be "the fixer".

Newsflash ladies, you cannot fix a man. And why would you want to? WHY I dated these "projects" instead of looking for someone who already had it together, is a story for another post.

Anyway, between all of the losers, I was starting to think there was something wrong with me.

There wasn't.

It was definitely them.

But hind site is 20/20.

Anyway, due to all these losers and emotionally unstable wrecks, I was convinced I would end up forging through life alone. Nowadays there's no shortage of ways to become a mother without a husband, so no big deal there.

I worked a ridiculous amount. Some times were bussier than others, but on top of being a full time student I held anywhere from 1-3 jobs at a time, working usually 30-60 hours a week.

And don't think I let this stop me from having fun.

There were many impromptu road trips, vacations to here and there and everywhere. Concerts and spring breaks. Visits to all my old schools.

Another thing about me. When I make up my mind about something, I do it. No matter how little sense it makes, or what anyone says. I'm stubborn like that. And I get bored very easily.

I think it's a Gemini thing.

So for whatever foolish reason, I transferred colleges 3 times.

I went to Tiffin University on a track scholarship for my freshman year. The population of the student body was actually less than my high school, (I went to a really big high school) and it was awesomely horrible.

I cried when I went home that summer because I was going to miss it so much.

Apparently as an 18 year old I was extremely fickle, because a week into summer vacation I decided to transfer to Wright State and get an apartment with my best friend.

I got a job working at the Victoria's Secret call center, one of only two in the country, and it was AMAZING. Talk about a dream job for a 19 year old. Hello 40% off! Anyway, we saved for a few weeks, drove to my Mom's in Chicago to shop at Ikea, and a couple weeks later, boom. First apartment.

All the rest of our best friends still lived at home or in dorms, so our little 600 square foot apt was the place to be. It was a great year. The futon that served as our living room couch is currently in my guest room.

Toward the end of that year my roommate decided to transfer to Ohio State. I too was sick of Dayton (if you haven't heard, its an awful place to live). I also missed my sorority sisters, so what did I do?

The only natural thing to do when you have absolutely no money. Transfer back to a 20 grand a year school in the middle of nowhere, because you miss your sorority sisters.

Since I'd lost that track scholorship and had no intentions of getting it back (I'm basically allergic to working out. It's a wonder I don't weigh another 50 lbs), I had to work to pay for my life. And as you can probably imagine, there arent too many jobs for college students in rural northern Ohio. There certainly weren't any Vicky's call centers for me to transfer to.

Did I mention I'd started dating someone who lived in Cincinnati?

Four months in to my second stint at Tiffin I realized I had to make a choice. Rob a bank, or move to a town that I could make more money in. I was falling fast for my BF at the time, so to the University of Cincinnati I went.

Now I do NOT recommend moving 3 hours away and transferring schools for someone you've known 6 months. But my best friend also went to school there, so that was a good excuse in my mind.

Fortunately I ended up dating that guy for another year, so I didn't feel too idiotic. Even more fortunately for me, I fell in love with the city. Again, a story for another post, but it worked out in my favor for sure.

I'm getting off topic. The point is, in all of these adventures and moves, I was very independent. Since the day I turned 18 my parents have stopped telling me what to do, or even suggesting really. They trust me and wanted to let me make my own mistakes in life. Like transferring schools three times and wasting thousands of dollars

So now I've kind of come full circle.

Instead of being able to try out a new job, or move, or pick up and spend my last pennies driving to Florida with my friends, I have someone else so think about.

How will this effect our relationship? Or finances? Do I have to ask permision?

Thankfully Will is very supportive of whatever I want to do. Probably because he knows you can only tame a free spirit so much. He has no qualms with me heading here or there for the night my my friends, and I have no problems considering our relationship and his feelings when I make decisions.

I guess that's what you do when you love someone.

I know when we are officially married and add children into the mix, the dynamics of our relationship will continue to change. I will have less and less time to spend being carefree and with my friends.

I will be eternally grateful for the 5 years I got to be wild and free. Those years make this time, learning to be domestic and starting a new life, that much more amazing.

Want the after I met Will? Read our story :)
Elle Noel said...

Found you through The Browse! I enjoyed reading about your story! The fun doesn't end after you get married- still random road trips and flying by the seat of your pants, just gotta make a few phone calls first. I hear when you have kids, that's when it really changes lol Thanks for sharing!

brittany @ g squared said...

That is so true!! Here's to having a spouse that likes a little crazy now and then. Thanks for stopping by :)

Dabbling in Dixie said...

Great story!

New follower from the browse :)

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